Need some help around the house?
Cleaning can feel overwhelming when things are a mess. It’s generally unfair for one person to shoulder all the work!
But what if I told you there’s a different way? Actually, 5 Steps towards getting your partner to help out with chores more?
Let’s dive in…
First Step: Communicate with Spouse
Most problems within marriage, come down to a lack of communication. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell your partner that you need a little help around the house more.
There’s nothing wrong with couples sharing responsibilities. While not everyone’s schedule allows this, you should be able to at least find some kind of happy medium.
But, if you are feeling overwhelmed, the first step is easy. Talk to your spouse about how you’re feeling!
You can either bring this up on your own, or take the opportunity when comments arise about the laundry. Or the dishes piling up.
Sometimes, we don’t realize just how much our help is needed until it’s explained. This can either be by sight, or sound.
Whether you choose to bring it up on your own, or mention it as a reason why the chores weren’t completed today. As long as you’re communicating, it’s a great first step. And hopefully, the only one you need!
If that fails, move on to Step Two.
Step Two: Stand Your Ground
This is especially helpful if someone just isn’t getting it. Or, they are just flat out refusing to help.
It’s hard work maintaining a household – whether you’re a stay at home mom, or a working mom!
If you’re tired of doing everything, then stop! And most importantly, stand your ground!
Explain to your partner that you will not be doing certain chores alone anymore, and things are going to change. I’m not a big advocator of being quite so assertive (albeit, demanding?). But sometimes, enough is enough!
There’s no point in stressing yourself out even more, when you can simply say that Mom is no longer responsible for washing the dog every week – and now, it’s a Dad job! You have enough on your plate!
Which now brings us to Step 3…
Step Three: Make A Chore Chart
You may have been able to skip Step Two entirely, so this might be your actual “Step two” if your concerns were well received.
In any case, this will help balance and keep track of the chore load!
It doesn’t matter if you use a piece of scratch paper, or a big poster board with stars and colors! I personally opt for a poster board, because it’s fun, and I ca use glitter pens!
But split the chores as much as you feel comfortable. If you just want someone else to cook dinner a few nights a week, or no longer want to do the weekly grocery shopping. It doesn’t matter.
As long as the responsibilities are delegated enough to where you are both happy, then this step is a success! A chore chart will also help to keep things in perspective, and help you keep track.
Then there’s no argument over who’s night it really is to wash dishes, when you both decided to alternate. It’s written on the chart!
But I stood my ground on not washing dishes… it’s ok!
Now is the time to revisit your stance (if you did that step) and reiterate/clarify. You can assume certain responsibilities if others are picked up, as a compromise if need be. Or, not!
The point is to create a schedule of chores that works for both of you.
Step Four: Cut the Nagging – Positive Reinforcement!
So you might have had some grumbling along the way during the last three steps. or, you might have been well received!
It doesn’t matter, because this step (your fourth…third?) is vital to the ultimate success of this mission.
When your spouse does begin to pitch in – praise, praise, praise!
This will show how much you genuinely appreciate that they are helping you out! Positive reinforcement will teach that you value their help, and are grateful for the effort.
It doesn’t matter if your spouse actually did a good job or not. The point is to validate their efforts, and let them know how much of a help they are!
Because the last thing you want to do, is nitpick (worst case scenario) or ignore them (best case). Then, they’ll just go back to not helping with chores at all, and you have to totally start over again.
The last Step will solidify your new arrangement…
Step Five: Do it Together!
This isn’t as counter-productive as you might think!
Once you’ve established duties, start doing chores together!
Not only will it make the work go by faster, but you’re strengthening your marriage. Discovering each other’s strong points, sharing the chore load even more, and learning from each other!
Who knew your husband had a trick for getting stains out the carpet! And I bet you didn’t know your wife had a secret for folding fitted sheets, huh?
This will increase morale, give you the opportunity to tweak your chore chart, and show even more appreciation for your spouse!
These steps won’t work for everyone…
Every couple has a different situation-and schedule.
But if you’re feeling overwhelmed, there’s nothing wrong with making a change!