How to Discipline a Toddler Without Hitting Part 5: Applying Brene Brown’s Empathy and Shame Research for Realistic Expectations

Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one’s parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child. -Alice Miller Recently my two-year-old dashed up to me, wrapped her short little arms around my neck and said, “Mom, you’re my best friend.”  My heart nearly burst. I […]

How to Discipline a Toddler Without Hitting Part 4: Creating Consequences with purpose Through John Gottman’s Emotion Coaching

It’s okay to be angry, it’s not not not okay to hurt someone. -Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood When using an authoritative approach to parenting as described in part 3, it’s important for parents to keep in mind their long-term goals. Children need to immediately stop harmful, destructive, or unkind behavior, but it is also important for […]

Why I Stopped Punishing My Kids: Negative Effects of Punishment

A person who has been punished is not less inclined to behave in a given way, at best, he learns how to avoid punishment. -B.F. Skinner Dan, at four years old, kept poking his little brother in the head no matter how much I explained that this was not a pleasant sensation. . . . […]

Goal-Setting: 5 Ways You Know You’re Doing It Right

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. –Bill Copeland In high school, I took a weight-training class to fulfill a needed gym credit. My goal was to do the bare minimum to get an A, and I did just […]